Incorporate these elements into your short, and you will win billions of film festivals:
1. Have an old person as a character.
Old Lady, Old Man... doesn't matter. I don't get it, but every other film does this and apparently people love it. "Aww!"
2. Have a sketchy opening title.
Nothing too clean, crisp, or professional. Make it look like you it was your first animation piece ever. Or just make it look bad. After all, the less work you put into it, the more people see it as "artistic." (this concept applies towards character development, plot, and camera-handling, etc) (see above picture)
3. Have royalty-free music.
Choose something original. Something that no one else uses.. like big band, jazz, or classical music! YEAH!
4. If you're making a documentary, choose someone who lives on the streets, a crack addict, or a person stuck in a similar situation.
No one minds if you use less fortunate people to manipulate the heart strings of your audience. It's perfectly ethical. Oh wait, "You're helping them by depicting their lifestyle to the world?" Well then you're okay!
5. Don't resolve anything.
If you do have an ending, ditch it. The less your film resolves, the more genius people think you are. If you do resolve a conflict at the end, quickly throw another conflict in so people will tickle their fingertips together and happily wonder, "Oo! I won't know what's going to happen next!" You've succeeded when they leave the theater with nothing but assumptions and guesses.
6. If your video is in black and white, make something bright red.
Audiences are tickled-pink when something with significance "stands out."
7. Audiences love Bush jabs.
Regardless of the absurdity of your claim, blame something on Bush and people will laugh hysterically. "HAR! HAR! HAR! I HATE BUSH TOO!" It never fails.
8. The more depressing the plot, the more philosophical it is.
Philosophical films are never joyful. Besides, who's ever heard of a deep-thinking happy person?
9. Contrast. Overuse it.Crank it up! The darker the shadows, the more profound your film!
10. Use accents.
British sounds classy... American does not. The more exotic the accent, the more exotic your film-regardless of the merit of your dialogue. Who is more amiable, Tony the Tiger or Toucan Sam?
Bonus tip!
11. Use nudity.
When you're alone and a woman's naked, she's hot.
When she's naked on film, it's art.
